Some of them are funny.
George Paull became one of the tragedies of the family. He was the
only boy in a large family of girls, and therefore was greatly spoiled.
He was nevertheless a very charming man, but he married a girl who was
not completely accepted by the family. He made his living by operating
a movie theater in Preston, Idaho, and was fairly successful, but one
day a tragic accident occurred: his wife was backing the car out of the
garage and George got caught under the wheels of the automobile. His
legs were so badly crushed that they had to be amputated. He never
recovered, either emotionally or physically, from that tragic accident.
Laura, and probably some of the other sisters as well, who had been
always accustomed to considering George as the most perfect human being
ever to have been born (since he was their only brother, and had always
been treated as a very special person) was devastated at the tragic
accident that had robbed George of his legs, and even hinted at the
possibility that Lettie (his wife) had purposely run over him (the
sisters were, of course, never able to explain why a woman would want to
purposely cripple her husband). Nonetheless, George lost his legs, and
although he tried valiantly to manage without them, scooting around on
a little wheeled platform, he did not long survive the limbs that had
preceded him.
On this very hot night I woke up in the night, and I got up. The
lights were still on, but Mommy and Daddy were gone. The house was very
tiny, so it didn't take long to make sure they weren't there. I woke
Jane Ann up, and told her that they had left us. We cried and cried and
wished that we had been good, because then we would still have a mother
and a father. We looked in their closet and saw that they hadn't taken
all their clothes, and we hoped that they would come back to get the
rest of them so that we could promise them that we would always be good
if they would stay with us.
Just after we had made this brave resolve and were beginning to
wonder how life would be without them, they came back! They assured us
that they hadn't run away. They had spent all evening canning fruit,
and when they had finished they had decided to take a short walk to cool
off. Since the children were both sound asleep, they thought they would
be safe.
We were very happy that our parents hadn't run away at all, and
that we didn't have to promise to be good forever and ever.
After that, the trip to Logan was usually quite boring, until we
had passed Franklin, the last town in Idaho before the Utah border, and,
historically, the first town to be settled in Idaho. (Brigham Young had
sent settlers up north to found a town at the northernmost border of
Utah, but they miscalculated, and instead of settling at the
northernmost point in Utah, they established a settlement at the
southernmost point in Idaho, thus becoming the first permanent town in
Idaho.)
After Franklin, we knew that it was only a few miles to Logan. The
only town to pass was Smithfield, with the pea factory, which usually
stank, and then we were in the Cache Valley. All eyes were glued then
to the landscape ahead, because it was a great achievement to be the
first one to catch sight of the Logan Temple. The Temple in Logan was,
and is, the most notable landmark of the town, a double-spired cathedral
situated on a commanding hill above the city, visible for dozens of
miles in all directions. Coming over the edge of the hill from
Smithfield, the Logan Temple stood out, miles away, telling us that we
were almost to Aunt Dee's.
Aunt Dee, the older sister of my maternal grandmother, was not a
woman of many words. I never remember that she ever showed any
particular affection toward me, and yet I doubted that she loved me.
Aunt Dee's house always smelled of different smells from those I was
used to, and to this day I would not be able to identify what the
sources of those smells might be. I only know that once in a while,
now, I catch a whiff of one of the smells that characterized Aunt Dee's
house, and I am taken back there, and I mourn the passing of those days.
They were warm smells, comforting smells, smells of good food, pickling
and smoking, and home-grown garden vegetables.
Aunt Dee was the mistress of her house, but she rarely set foot
outside of it. I don't know why. Her sons did her shopping, and the
friends that she wanted to see came to her. And her friends were many
and varied. Little Billie, who stood three feet tall, and who was the
first midget that I ever saw, came by regularly until he died, a victim
of his deformity. Ruth, who was a warm, boisterous woman, with a very
cleft palate and hair lip (whom Aunt Dee's son Hilman delighted in
imitating, when Ruth wasn't there). Aunt Grace, whose English accent
was so thick that one could think that she had just arrived in this
country, and who really wasn't an aunt of ours at all, but just a family
acquaintance of Aunt Dee's (and who could recite poetry all night long
if one were willing to listen to her). And the fellow who was a friend
of Uncle Chris (Aunt Dee's husband) who used to come over once a month
for haircuts - he would cut Uncle Chris' hair, and then Uncle Chris
would cut his hair, each of them sitting on a straightbacked chair out
on the back porch, where Aunt Dee also kept her preserves -the homemade
ketchup and the rootbeer. Hilman and Paul, her two sons, had also slept
on the back porch as teenagers, since it was healthy to sleep where it
was cold.
How can a person as gruff as Aunt Dee be so lovable? She was a
large, overweight woman, so large that she had difficulty moving about,
having to support herself on counters and the backs of chairs as she
walked through her house, handing herself from one piece of furniture to
the next. When she was working in her kitchen she was constantly
whistling some little tune. By any objective standard she had an ugly
face, with some of her teeth missing and the others crooked (she had not
followed the fad of those days, which was to have all your teeth pulled
when about 40 years old and replace them with a beautiful set made by
the dentist), and yet her ugliness, instead of repelling, seemed to
reassure one that behind this face was no dishonesty. With her own
three children she could be very blunt (it was in Aunt Dee's house that
I first heard many of the words that I later found were swear words).
Her oldest son, Paul, was a particularly difficult person, and when he
would drop in to visit his mother, she would often have occasion to
exclaim, "SHIT, PAUL!", which was the first time I ever heard that word.
I don't know how Aunt Dee tolerated us. We always brought lots of
our toys, and I always had her living-room floor covered with things I
had built out of my blocks. Jane Ann always wanted to play with
Vervene's old doll house, an ugly old gray thing with no furniture or
dolls. We also played with a Mexican basket full of marbles. This also
always occupied the entire living room.
Jane Ann and I often slept in the dining room on a contraption
which was sort of a sofa during the day but which could be converted
into a double bed, and it was always fun to help make the magical
conversion and then climb into bed and listen to the grown-ups talk.
Aunt Dee's house held many lovely delights which one could find
nowhere else. She always had (in summer, which was the only time we
ever were there) a large garden in the back yard, with a large stand of
corn. To this day I can never eat corn on the cob without remembering
the corn that we used to eat from Aunt Dee's garden. She also
maintained a fairly large chicken coop at the foot of the garden, and
that was always a terror for me, since I was sometimes asked to go out
and feed the chickens or even to gather the eggs, and the fright and
horror that I felt at the idea of entering into that chicken coop
remains with me to this day.
But to have the corn on the cob and the freshly-killed fryer served
up on Aunt Dee's huge round dining room table, that made up for any of
the discomfort of having to go out into her back yard, whether to pick
the corn or to feed the chickens who were about to be slaughtered.
Not only the corn and the chicken, but many other foods bring back
memories of Aunt Dee's kitchen. Since her husband Uncle Chris operated
a filling station in Logan, he also had access to soft drinks, and one
of the delights of Aunt Dee's refrigerator was that it always contained
a plentiful supply of soft drinks, especially Seven-Up and Pepsi-Cola.
At home we never had such delightful things to drink, and I will always
associate those drinks with Aunt Dee's house. I must admit that I was
not very bright - because Seven-Up came in a green bottle, I thought
that the drink itself was green, and it was not until many years late
that I finally realized that only the bottle is green - the drink itself
is clear.
Aunt Dee's kitchen was dominated by the range, a monstrous
coal-burning stove that she had mastered and subdued into doing her
bidding. Even toast was done to perfection in that range - Aunt Dee
never owned a new-fangled toaster. The other half of the kitchen was
taken up with a huge oval table, which served as board for breakfast and
lunch. And what marvelous breakfasts and lunches were had there,
without any obvious effort from Aunt Dee. It was at that table that I
first tasted an omelette, and that it occurred to me that bacon was an
everyday kind of breakfast food. And in the corner was always that
marvelous old refrigerator, with the huge coil on top, in which the
Seven-Up was kept.
One summer when we went to Logan, I got sick. It was not just an
ordinary kind of sick--it turned out that I had the measles, and the
house was quarantined by the health department. I was moved into Aunt
Dee's bed, a huge brass bedstead with deep, soft bedclothes. I had to
stay there, and I was not allowed out of the room for two weeks. (I
don't know where Aunt Dee slept during that time). When I was taken
into the dining room or the living room, all the shades had to be drawn,
because of the danger to the patient's eyes, and I remember that it was
not really a pleasure. As I was recuperating, I spent many hours
playing in the bed. Aunt Dee had a set of brass bells in the shape of
fine ladies with full skirts, which formed the domes of the bells, and
these bells I was allowed to take into bed with me and play with. These
human brass figures became the players in the many dramas that my sick
childish mind invented, and with the pillows and the bedclothes I made
houses and walks and hillsides for these brass ladies to promenade
along. I also received a lovely wooden Pinocchio doll, with jointed
limbs. Pinocchio was a film which had recently been produced and was
very popular.
On one trip to Logan, Jane Ann and I were fighting in the back
seat, as usual. My mother and my grandmother could not do anything to
stop us from bickering and nagging at each other. Just north of Preston
we began a fight over a Snicker candy bar, and in the scuffle Jane Ann
fell against the door handle, the door opened, and Jane Ann fell out of
the car. It was a horrible scene. Mother slammed on the brakes, Nana
screamed, and we all jumped out of the car and ran back down the highway
to find Jane Ann, who was bawling and bleeding by the side of the road.
My grandmother was beside herself. It was immediately decided that we
would drive the few more miles into Preston, where George and Lettie's
son was newly established in the practice of medicine, and get medical
assistance.
We arrived at Lettie's house, and fortunately found her at home.
Lettie was making a meager living at the time giving piano lessons, and
she had had a cancellation by one of her students. We brought Jane Ann
into the house, sobbing and bawling even more, with all the fussing over
that the two women were doing over her, and Lettie called her son. The
poor doctor hurried over, and pronounced Jane Ann likely to live quite
a lot longer, and he got a bottle of iodine out of his kit and swabbed
her scratches, and refused to charge my mother a cent for the treatment.
We continued on to Logan, with my grandmother reminding me the
whole of the way that I really must have been very sorry to have seen my
sister suffering so, and possibly being killed, and shouldn't I be nicer
to her? I realized that it would have ruined the trip (as a matter of
fact, it HAD ruined the trip) if she had been really hurt, but it seemed
to me that the ruination of one trip would have been a small price to
pay if I just didn't have to put up with her any longer.
I was not a very nice brother.
The first real experience Jane Ann and I had with babies and little
children was when Hilman and Lorraine had their first child Julie Ann.
We thought she was lots of fun. During one of our visits to Logan, when
she was about three years old, we were even allowed to take her downtown
for a walk, to the Bluebird Cafe, which was an elegant soda fountain
with marble tables and dark wood paneling. They also made wonderful
chocolate bon-bons. The most wonderful thing one could order was called
a Teddy Bear Sundae: chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce and a
cherry on top, in a chilled metal dish. Jane Ann and I took Julie Ann
to the Bluebird and sat up on the soda fountain stools (we didn't think
they would allow children to sit at a table without adults present). We
were doing fine, enjoying our ice cream, until we realized that Julie
was wetting her pants. It was running all over, wetting the stool and
dripping onto the floor underneath. We were not prepared to deal with
this problem. We very cowardly left without saying a word. We never
again asked to take Julie Ann to the Bluebird.
It was the bottle of red ink that fascinated Jane Ann and me most
of all, for what reason, I don't know. Perhaps it was because we had no
idea what red ink was good for--we were familiar enough with blue ink
and black ink, but red ink was completely new to us. At that moment we
began to hatch a plan. It was summer, and our clothes were scanty
enough anyway. The red ink was precisely the color of blood.
We looked around the corner of the garage, and Dad was chatting
with someone who had pulled up in a car to the curb. It was a devilish
scheme. Without even talking about it, I opened the bottle of red ink
and poured it down my arm. It dribbled and ran in a most gory way, and
then Jane Ann and I ran screaming to Dad. " Daddy, Daddy, Richard has
cut himself!" As we got to my father, the red gore was dripping
hideously from the top of my arm to my wrist, and I was moaning and
groaning as though I were about to die. Poor Dad took one look at my
arm and almost fainted. Since he was an embalmer and knew a good deal
about the human circulatory system, his first reaction was to try to
stop the bleeding. He grabbed my arm at the armpit and squeezed me very
hard. To conceal his nervousness he kept saying, "Keep calm! Keep calm!
Keep calm!", all the while trembling and shaking with nervousness. Jane
Ann and I were unfortunately not able to keep up the charade much
longer, and we soon started to giggle when we saw how successfully we
had discombobulated Dad. When Dad realized that we were laughing, when
we really should have been crying or screaming, he naturally became
suspicious. It was such a good joke, and he had fallen for it so well,
that we told him that the "blood" was really just the contents of a
bottle of red ink that we had found in the tool shed. Dad did not think
it was such a funny joke. He might have thought it funnier if he had
not had the audience of the man who had stopped in the car to chat with
him.
The house was an old red brick duplex which I guess had been built
about 1900. Nothing had been done to modernize the house, and it was
still very old-fashioned. The most modern item of furniture was a
Philco radio console, on which Grandpa faithfully listened to Walter
Winchell, whom he referred to as "Wee Willy Winky." Grandpa loved to
show off various things he owned, such as a pocket watch which was "just
like the watch that President Taylor was wearing when the Prophet was
shot." He had a comic statue of a cowboy, which he said was "our
Senator from Idaho," referring to Senator Glen Taylor, whose brief
career in the United States Senate was characterized by his strumming
cowboy songs on the Capitol steps. Grandpa also showed off a cushion
which he kept on the seat of his rocking chair which was embroidered
with "the coat of arms of the King of England." He chuckled at the idea
that the royal coat of arms was keeping his bum warm. The most
impressive and incongruous indication of culture was a large ornately
framed photograph of St. Peter's Cathedral in Rome. It had been left by
the Catholic family from whom they had bought the house years before,
and it never seemed to occur to this devout Mormon family that it would
have been more appropriate to have the Salt Lake Temple on their walls.
But Grandpa always pointed it out with pride, saying, "And that's Saint
Peter's Cathedral in Rome, where the Pope lives!" I had grown too old
to fall for his favorite entertainment, which was to make a sound with
his mouth that he thought sounded like a cat, and then to call "Here,
kitty, kitty," while pretending to look for a cat behind all the
furniture and getting his child audience to help. Another of Grandpa's
prized possessions was his automobile, a beautiful navy blue sedan (a
Packard?) which was kept in a shed in back. Neither Grandpa nor Grandma
nor Nana knew how to drive, but Grandpa felt he should own a car.
Occasionally Uncle Jim or Uncle Joe would come and take the folks for a
drive. Probably in the fifteen years Grandpa owned the car it wasn't
driven over a thousand miles.
Nana would fix me lunch every Saturday, which was often pork
sausage because she thought I liked pork sausage. (I did, but not every
Saturday!) Then we would visit with Grandpa and Grandma or play card
games. Grandma liked to have someone read the newspaper to her, since
she had never learned to read. As a little girl, instead of going to
school, she had had to work in a pin factory. She was always amazed
that we little children had been able to learn to read. Sometimes she
would let me watch her remove her chinwhiskers. She had a wax-like
substance that she would melt on the stove and then apply it all over
her chin. When it cooled and hardened, she ripped it off, pulling out
all the whiskers. I admired her courage, but she just laughed.
Grandpa had no teeth. He had had them all pulled years ago, and
had a nice set of false teeth made, but he never found them comfortable,
so he never wore them. He would break his food up into tiny pieces and
sort of squeeze it with his bare gums, and seemed to get along just fine
that way.
Grandpa loved to play cards with me, and he taught me to play
cribbage and two-handed pinochle. Cards were the primary form of
entertainment in the household. When Nana was living there, every
evening was spent playing three-handed pinochle.
I stopped having music lessons for a couple of years because I had
really stopped making progress. Evelyn was a demanding and somewhat
eccentric teacher. She wore large bangle earrings. She was not very
friendly or encouraging. I didn't like the music she wanted me to
learn. She made me a better pianist, but I hated it, so Mother let me
quit. But after a while Mother tempted me to start lessons again by
suggesting that I take "just a few" lessons from a friend of hers in
Pocatello named Gaylord Sanford. Gaylord was huge mountain of a man who
made his living playing the piano in cocktail lounges and giving a few
lessons. He could teach me to play popular music by ear, Mother said.
So I started with Gaylord.
Gaylord Sanford lived with his wife in a little frame house at the
very end of Center Street, up a steep hill, just a few blocks from
Grandpa and Grandma's. He would sometimes be a few minutes late for my
lesson and come in wheezing from the strenuous climb up the hill
carrying a little paper bag, which I finally deduced was his renewal of
his liquor supply. But he was a marvelous and talented man, and within
a few weeks had me playing pretty acceptably by ear, in what I learned
many years later was called "stride piano."
My lessons from Gaylord were on weekdays. I left school in time to
catch the 3:45 train to Pocatello, and then walk up Center Street for my
lesson. I then went over to Grandpa and Grandma's, where Nana would fix
me some supper, and then I had to wait for the Greyhound bus to take me
home. Those were the evenings, depending on the bus schedule, when all
of us would play four-handed pinochle. Sometimes I would purposely take
a later bus, just so we could have a longer game.
They kept score by using poker chips as counters. For Christmas
one year Nana gave Grandpa a beautiful round wooden rack of poker chips
to keep score with at pinochle. It was three times as many chips as he
needed, and the rack was decorated with hunting a fishing motifs, even
though Grandpa had never been interested in such things. It was never
used to play poker. Just to keep score at Pinochle, and to provide us
little kids with something else to play with when we came to visit. (I
now have Grandpa's set of poker chips.)
Grandpa and Grandma often got confused about half-way through a
game about which direction the chips were passing, so you had to watch
them. They also watched each other and occasionally even accused each
other of cheating. Grandpa couldn't shuffle a deck of cards properly,
so he would mix them by tossing them all face down on the table and
muddling them around. He also had a peculiar style of bidding.
Sometimes, even before he had finished picking up his cards, he would
announce "Four hundred!"
Even though the score was kept with the chips, Nana always took the
precaution of writing on a pad the amount of the bid for each hand and
the amount of the meld, so that there could be no argument later about
whether the bidder had "made it" or not.
Grandma Walton died suddenly in 1947, and Grandpa died in 1949.
Nana kept house for him the last two years. After that, the house was
sold, and everything was dispersed among Grandpa's surviving children.
I don't know who got the singing cowboy or the pocket watch or the big
photograph of St. Peters. I think all that Nana got was the set of
poker chips, because she had given them to him originally. And now I
have them, and that's all that's left of the many evenings of pinochle,
except that now, whenever I play pinochle, I'm always tempted to open
the bidding at "Four hundred!"
One time when I was about ten years old, my dad took me fishing to
the American Falls reservoir (I think that's where it was). Our
neighbor Wayne Booth had built a kayak, which was painted bright blue,
and Dad thought we could row out onto the reservoir and catch some fish.
I don't remember whether we caught any fish or not. I think I was
having more fun rowing the kayak, which is rowed facing forward with a
double-ended oar, unlike an ordinary row-boat, which I never liked
because you couldn't see where you were going. But mid-afternoon the
wind came up a little. We were maybe a hundred feet from shore, when
the wind caught my hat and blew it into the water just a few feet away.
Dad said, "Don't worry, I'll get it!" and reached out for the hat.
Now, a kayak is a very delicately balanced thing, and Dad's
reaching for the hat was just enough to upset the balance and tip us
over. I didn't know how to swim yet, and thought I was a goner. Dad
did, too, I think, because he was grabbing for me frantically until we
realized that the water was only about four feet deep.
Mother was not too pleased when we got home, soaking wet, and I
think she thought Dad was doctoring the story a little so that it
wouldn't sound like he had really almost drowned me.
Mornings were reserved for swimming lessons, and Jane Ann and I
took the whole Red Cross series, over a number of summers. The pool
opened for the afternoon, closed for supper time, and then opened again
for three hours in the evening. We always spent three or four days a
week at the pool, usually with a bunch of friends. We matured at the
pool, from being confined to the shallow end, until we had satisfied the
life guard Lona Mae (who was also our swimming instructor) that we could
swim well enough to be allowed in the deep end with the big kids. The
true test of maturity was being brave enough to jump off the high-dive,
and then - crowning glory! - to dive off of it. Other marks of
maturity were being able to jump in without holding your nose, being
able to keep your eyes open while swimming under water. Lots of kids
used a rubber nose clip while swimming, which wasn't quite as bad as
using goggles. Unfortunately, the doctor insisted that I wear ear
plugs. You also were looked down upon if you couldn't roll your swim
suit up in your towel to form a neat roll.
Our neighborhood had a lot of kids, and we spent all summer
playing. We considered an entire two or three blocks to be our private
playground, disregarding property lines and ignoring any possibility
that anybody would object to a dozen kids racing through their yard
playing hide-and-seek or war. We organized huge games, often with ten
or fifteen kids playing at once. Tag, ball, Jolly Jolly Butcher Boy, or
games with no name. A block away from our house was the American Legion
Home, a large house sitting diagonally on a corner lot, used as a
meeting hall. One of our friends, Patty Reay, lived in the upstairs
apartment since her dad was the caretaker. Two old cannon from World
War I sat on concrete pedestals on the front lawn, and over the years we
children gradually did to those cannon what the Kaiser's troops had
never been able to accomplish. The house itself, at least the exterior,
also became our playground, since it was constructed of large rough-hewn
rock, which were irregular enough in size and shape to be a challenge to
young mountain-climbers. We all became adept at climbing up the face of
the walls to a perch on a window sill.
Those beautiful summer evenings were wonderful, and as it gradually
grew darker and the light began to fade, the quality of the sounds
changed somehow, too, so that the echo of the voices of happy children
matched the colors of the evening sky, and the only sadness any one of
us ever experienced on those evenings was when it got so dark we could
hardly see one another and we heard the distant sing-song call of a
parent: "Donnnnny, time to come iii-in!" But even that was just a
temporary sadness, because we knew that we could play again the next day
and the next evening after supper, and every day after that, and it
never occurred to us that it would ever end.
She was the youngest of six children, all of which were girls
except for the one boy, George. Their father Charles North Paull was a
railroad engineer. He and his young wife (and his parents) had come to
Utah about 1871 after joining the Mormons.
The girls' jobs including doing their father's shirts. Father
insisted on having a clean white shirt each day for work, even though
his job was not a "white shirt" kind of job.
The third-oldest sister, Gertrude, married Arthur Porter in 1900
and had a baby girl. When Gertrude died in 1906, Mr. Porter brought the
baby girl, also named Gertrude, back to the Paull's, saying that he
could not raise her. It fell to Lillie and Laura, the two daughters
still living at home, and Grandma Paull, to raise "little Gertrude."
Arthur Porter became the only man whom Nana expressed any hate for,
because after little Gertrude had come to love the Paulls as her own
family and had forgotten her father, who had never kept in touch, one
day Porter suddenly showed up at the Paull home and insisted on taking
Gertrude with him. Little Gertrude was heartbroken and frightened, but
there was nothing the Paulls could do to prevent the father from
claiming his child. Nana never forgave Porter for his cruelty.
Laura married Edwin Albert Walton in 1910. He had been attending
Brigham Young College in Logan. She had waited for him while he
completed a mission for the Mormon church in England. They moved to
Pocatello, where he had grown up. They lived for a while with his
cousin George Phillips and his wife Olive. Both couples discovered that
they could not have children, so both couples decided to adopt a baby.
They contacted a home for unwed mothers on 25th street in Ogden, and
soon were notified that there was a baby girl for the Phillips. Laura
and Olive took the train to Ogden and got the baby, which George and
Olive named Dorothy. About six months later, the Waltons' baby was
ready, and Laura and Olive again went to Ogden. Laura and Albert named
their baby girl Delmar Lucille, and Laura decided that she would never
allow Delmar to know that she had been adopted. She was unable to keep
the secret from Delmar, of course, but Delmar never let on to her mother
that she knew, and Nana died in the belief that she had succeeded. I
suppose that Laura thought that Delmar would not love her mother as
much, but she never ran that risk, because Delmar loved her parents
dearly.
Laura always called Delmar "Babe." When they walked downtown to
shop, and then stopped in Nixon's Drug Store for a Coke or a nut-fudge
sundae (a Coke was 5 cents, the sundae was a quarter), there would
always be a gentle argument, because Nana always insisted, "Now, you let
me pay for this, Babe!"
Nana had a wise saying for every occasion. If we cried over
something, she would remind us, "There's worse things than that happen
at sea!" When we got frustrated at always making mistakes, her comment
was "Always never right - Charles Baker," apparently from a comment made
years before by an acquaintance of that name who never seemed to get
anything right. If we dribbled something we were eating down our front,
it was "Bib for Mother!"
Nana was a loyal admirer of President Roosevelt and his New Deal,
which had "helped the poor," of which she apparently considered herself
a member. Dad tended to be a Republican. Politics was never discussed
much in our family, but one time Dad and Nana got going at it, and it
was starting to get heated when Nana ended the argument by asking, "Why
don't you like Roosevelt? What did he ever do to you?" Dad didn't have
an answer, and I think they never discussed politics again.
Nana was always overweight, and had many health troubles, some of
them probably minor, but all bothered her. The most serious one was
varicose veins in her legs. Mother tried to convince her to have them
repaired surgically, but she refused. Her only relief for her legs was
to wear heavy elastic stockings. Nana had so many remedies and pills
for her various ailments that one Christmas Mom and Dad gave her a
little black satchel, just like a doctor's bag, to keep all her bottles
and pill boxes in.
Nana never cut her hair, and when it was loose it hung far down her
back. Every night she brushed it "a hundred strokes," and then it would
have to be braided and the braid coiled on the back of her head and held
there with a dozen hairpins.
Nana loved little porcelain figurines, and she accumulated a large
collection. She had a large glass cabinet to display them, and Jane Ann
and I loved to sit and look at them. She also did crochet and tatting,
and made many items that were just put away to be used as gifts
sometime.
She kept in touch with her sisters by mail, and had a supply of
penny postcards (they actually did cost one penny), and pretty much
every day or two would fill one up with whatever news there was, writing
in a purple "indelible pencil," and send it off to Lillie or sometimes
Lottie.
Nana loved Christmas as much as we children did. She would save
her money carefully so that she could spend it on presents, especially
for us kids, and then wrap each one in white tissue paper. If we didn't
wake up early enough on Christmas morning, she would get us up. On
Christmas Eve, with the presents piled under the tree, the suspense and
excitement was usually too much. Nana helped us talk Dad into allowing
us to choose one present to open on Christmas Eve. We had of course
tried to guess what the presents were. This was not difficult to do,
because we used only white tissue paper for wrapping. One year I had
bought Jane Ann a little box of toy plastic dishes. The box was pretty
and said "Tea-time Dishes." Jane Ann had bought me a game of tiddly-
winks. Each of us succeeded in pressing the tissue paper close enough
to the box inside that we were able to find out what the gift was
without unwrapping it. Nana scolded us for having spoiled the suspense
and the surprise, but we didn't mind. It was more fun to know.
Ever since, the comment "Tiddly-winks and tea-time dishes" has always
brought back that Christmas and the excitement of presents.
She never talked much about religion or the church. I think she
really never forgave God for taking Albert from her. She would go to
church occasionally, but she would never join in the singing, I think as
her subtle way of letting God know she had a bone to pick with Him, and
wasn't going to sing His praises until she had had a chance to settle it
with Him face to face.
Although her legs caused her problems, she often walked downtown,
whether in Blackfoot, Pocatello or Logan. She never learned to drive a
car. I think she and Albert never owned a car. She also refused to sit
in the front seat of a car, even if she was the only passenger. She was
not a good passenger, I think. If Dad was driving, it was always,
"Howard! Watch out!" or "Howard, don't drive so fast!"
Nana faithfully read the newspaper, but the terrible war news was
no more awful to her than the stories of individual tragedies. She
could become depressed for a whole day over something she had read in
the paper: "I just can't get over the thought of that poor child that
was burned to death in Kansas City!"
She lived a quiet, unexciting and, apart from Albert's early death,
an uneventful life. The only important people in her life were her
family; she had very few friends. The only activities she undertook,
the only real interests she had, revolved around her family. Probably
very few people outside of her immediate family even remember her now.
But she could not have been more loved or admired or worshipped, and
even today, over thirty years after her death, scarcely a day goes by
that I do not think of her and miss her.
Most of the kids who lived in town weren't interested in working in
the fields, and just had the time off. That's what I usually did. But
one year, when I was about ten, Dad arranged for us to get a job picking
potatoes, for 12 cents a bag.
Potato picking is hard work. When the pickers arrive, the potato
digging machine has already gone through the field and dug up the
potatoes and left them lying in rows. If you're lucky, the vines have
already been pulled off and taken away. Burlap bags have been tossed
every so often along the rows, and the pickers choose their rows, armed
only with a large, bushel-sized wire basket. Two baskets filled with
potatoes will be dumped into a bag and left standing in the row for the
truck to pick up later. Most pickers work in pairs, each putting a
basket full of spuds into the sack, and then splitting their earnings.
The farm where we were going to work was about eight miles north of
town, on the Rose road. There were maybe six or eight of us kids,
including Jane Ann and me, a about a dozen Mexican laborers, who could
work like lightning. I didn't want to have a partner, especially Jane
Ann. That was stupid, of course, because then I had to haul every other
basket of spuds to where I had already filled a sack half full.
It was miserable work. I wasn't fond of (or used to) hard physical
labor. I hated having to bend over, but it wasn't any better trying to
kneel and crawl or to sit and scoot. The sun was hot, and the only
thing that kept me going was the possibility of earning some money. I
was constantly calculating how much I had earned already, how fast I was
earning it (not fast enough), and how much longer I would have to work
to reach a certain amount. At first my goal was two dollars, which
would mean having to pick 17 sacks or 34 baskets of potatoes. That
would earn me $2.04. Pretty soon I decided that I would be content to
earn just a dollar, but that would be hard to do, because 8 sacks would
only get me 96 cents, and to get a dollar I would have to pick another
entire sack (no credit for half a sack!), but that would mean
more work, and I would then have an extra eight cents that I didn't
really want. To show that I wasn't lazy, I picked the extra sack, and
by that time it was about lunch time anyway, and I told Jane Ann I was
quitting. She decided to quit, too. Three or four other kids followed
our example, and we asked the farmer for our money. He gave it to us,
and we set out for town.
It was a wonderful afternoon, now that we didn't have to work. We
walked along, joked, played silly games, raced, tossed rocks into the
ditches, and felt free as the birds. We saw a dead rattlesnake, which
suitably thrilled us. The farmer came along in his truck, and said he
was going into town and would give us a lift, but I think we were too
proud (or too ashamed) to accept his offer. We walked all afternoon
along Rose Road, and got to Blackfoot around five or six o'clock, just
in time for supper.THE NIGHT OUR PARENTS ABANDONED
US
One summer when we still lived in the little gray house on
University Street, when I was about four or five years old and Jane Ann
was maybe three, we had been particularly trying for Mother. I don't
know what we had done, but when we really got bad and refused to mind
and refused to help, Mother would sometimes reach the end of her
patience and tell us that if we kept on treating her so mean, she would
run away.AUNT DEE, THE EARTH MOTHER, AND TRIPS TO
LOGAN
My parents were never able to afford much in the way of vacations
in expensive places. Our vacations consisted of a week or two visiting
relatives. Fortunately, the relatives that we usually visited were the
Johnsons in Logan, Utah, the family of my mother's aunt, whom everybody
called "Aunt Dee." I don't know why she was called that, because her
real name was Lillie. Nothing compared to the thrill of getting into
the car and starting on the road to Logan. The stretch from Blackfoot
to Pocatello was familiar enough, but leaving Pocatello was quite
another matter. Just outside of town was a railroad siding where two old
railroad locomotives stood, and it was always very exiting to hear again
how our own great grandfather Paull had driven one of them. (They are
no longer there.) Just a few miles further on, we were always waiting
to reach the point where Mother would tell us that we were passing
"Moving Mountain", where there was such continual sliding of rock and
dirt from the side of the hill onto the road, that it seemed the
mountain was actually moving. (Of course, we never actually saw the
mountain move, but just knowing that it did was excitement enough.)THE DAY I SLASHED MY ARM
One day Jane Ann and I were playing out in back and we got into the
old tool shed where Dad kept the garden tools. All kinds of things were
there--the sleds that we played with when the ice was on the streets in
the winter, the huge scythe that he would have used to mow tall stands
of weeds if ever we had tall stands of weeds, various rusty old items of
farm equipment which came from nowhere and which could serve no useful
function in town, an old Imperial German spiked helmet, which came from
no one knew where, and which I wish I had today, and, most mysterious of
all, a bottle of red ink. PINOCHLE AND PIANO LESSONS
After I had taken piano lessons for several years, my mother
thought I should have a better teacher than the piano teachers in
Blackfoot. She arranged for me to take lessons from one of the top
piano teachers in Pocatello, a woman named Evelyn who lived on Johnson
Street about eight blocks from Grandpa and Grandma Walton's house. For
about a year I rode to Pocatello every Saturday in a car pool of other
Blackfoot kids taking from Evelyn. It used up the whole day, of course,
since we all had to hang around Pocatello until everybody had had a
lesson. I was luckier than the other kids, because I could spend the
time at Grandpa and Grandma's. At that time my grandmother Nana was
also living there. It was the only home she had since my grandfather
had died.THE DAY MY FATHER ALMOST DROWNED
ME
Dad used to be an avid fisherman. He tried to get me interested as
well, but it never seemed much fun to me. The line always seemed to
tangle, the worms would not hold still, the hooks were sharp, and Dad
always seemed to want to go someplace far away, so that you had to get
up in the middle of the night.SUMMER GAMES
Summer was always a wonderful time. The city swimming pool always
opened the Monday after school was out, and Jane Ann and I were always
allowed to use the one dollar refund of our school book deposit fee to
buy a summer's season ticket at the swimming pool. The pool was across
town, just past the football field, not far from the city park and the
fairgrounds. It was not much more than a huge cement-lined hole in the
ground, 100 feet by 25 feet, surrounded on three sides by rows of wooden
changing cubicles and shower rooms, and on the fourth side by a chain-
link fence. There was a diving board and a "high-dive" tower. The
water was heated by an old furnace, but the filtering system was so
inefficient that the pool had to be completely drained once a week and
replaced with fresh water. This took an entire day, so the pool was
always closed on Thursdays. On Friday the water was cleanest, but so
cold that nobody wanted to go swimming. Saturday it had warmed up a
little, and Sunday was ideal. Since Sunday was the Sabbath Day,
however, we never went swimming on Sunday. Monday and Tuesday were
great days. By Wednesday the water was really very pleasantly warm, but
by then it had also gotten pretty murky.NANA
The person I loved most in all the world, without question, was my
grandmother Laura Paull Walton, whom we always called "Nana." Everybody
else loved her, too, because she was, in a quiet way, the most loving,
giving, self-effacing person I have ever known. She had suffered a lot,
and continued to suffer with various health problems, but she never
complained. She had no money, but what she had she was generous
with.WE HELP WITH THE POTATO HARVEST
Blackfoot is a farming community and depends on agriculture. The
main crops are potatoes and sugar beets. Both require a lot of labor at
certain times of the year, and in October the schools close for two or
three weeks for "Harvest Vacation" so that the kids can help out in the
fields. The older kids work at thinning beets. The younger kids
usually pick potatoes. If a kid worked hard he could earn quite a bit
of money.
Der Strom, der neben mir verrauschte, wo ist er nun? Der Vogel, dessen Lied ich lauschte, wo ist er nun? Wo ist die Rose, die die Freundin am Herzen trug, Und jener Kuß, der mich berauschte, wo ist er nun? Und jener Mensch, der ich gewesen, und den ich längst Mit einem andern Ich vertauschte, wo ist er nun? - August Graf von Platen The river that once roared beside me, where is it now?The bird whose song stirred love inside me, where is it now? Where is the rose that graced my sweetheart's breast? That kiss, whose passion gratified me, where is it now? And that young man that I once was, and that I long ago Exchanged for quite a different Me, where is he now? - translated by Richard Packham |